We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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