I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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