so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence