kristin has been a bad kristin
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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