Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
