what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
