definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
