Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
