new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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