I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
