UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
