Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
