i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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