I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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