Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
