dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
