Rock
Scissors
Fuck
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
