Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
