my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
