He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
zippers are such a cool invention
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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