The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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