Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
