i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
