the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize