I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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