I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
