I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
