im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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