he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize