Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
