a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize