I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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