That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
