dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
