Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
