Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
