She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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