this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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