I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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