just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
