ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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