Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
