Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
