She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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