It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize