I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
