Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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