the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
