I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
