My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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