Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
