what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
