Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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