i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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