4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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