Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
