D3 body, D1 cock
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
