And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
