I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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