Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote

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(614): View more from Ohio

you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes

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(847): View more from Illinois

so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

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(410): View more from Maryland

what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!

(1-410): View more from Maryland

the part where you beat me to him

(410): View more from Maryland

fair enough.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent

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(509): View more from Washington

Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

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(707): View more from California

He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?

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(757): View more from Virginia

A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.

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