its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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