That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
