He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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