dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
