So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
