you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
