I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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