mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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