Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
50% drunk capacity currently
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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