Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
