aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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