Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
