I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
